Illicit Extra-Marital Dating Sites,Why Charge ?

One thing a lot of people have become used to with the event of social networking sites like Facebook is that the Internet is predominately free. So what justifications do dating sites have to charge for their services? In theory this article can be applied not only to illicit encounters type dating sites but to any dating site that charges.

Think about this you don’t have to pay to speak to someone on MSN messenger/yahoo chat or any other IM so why pay on these sites. ?

Well they say that they are vetting profiles and also by charging it is an exclusive club.!  To quote a site

“.. is the only site that that polices female  members to ensure there are no undesirables etc. We know they join other sites where they’re not  checked.” or “we have a department dedicated to vetting the site for scammers” or “Our site is policed and monitored” .

Basically it’s what you say in the trade “a load of balls”

 I wonder how many men are posing as women are on these sites just to get free access ? 

So much for the vetting process. All sites even free ones vet there members and monitor and police their sites. Why ?

becuase :-

a) They want to keep other members happy and keep them on the site.

b) They want to ensure there’s nothing dodgy going on

c) They want prospective members who browse the site to know they are serious about it.

The other favourite one they tend to use is:-

“By making our members pay we are getting a higher quality of member”  and another “The best quality men are on our site becuase they do pay a premium”.

Yet again most people who join these sites are  on other sites. Its the old case of  “the more you spread you wings the better chance you have of succeeding”. In reality, the quality across all sites is the same in  that there are high medium and low quality members. I suppose it depends on how you measure quality but basically all site follow what is called in mathematics the binomial distribution or bell shape curved when it comes to their members.

To quote a female member on one of the paying sites (where men pay)  who has moved over to a free site.

“I got hastled by men continually who sent me emails again and again and tried instant messaging with me mainly because they payed lots and felt they had to get there money’s worth………….. It really pissed me off”

“Since I moved over to a free site, I find the men are so much more relaxed and not as stressed out as they are on other pay sites, and they are in less of a hurry…”

On alot of these sites generally women go free and also they say their site is free but really it is not. A good way of finding out is to check out the sites Frequently asked questions (i.e FAQ) its normally hidden in there, or in their help. Be astounded by their fees and it’s the men who pay.

Another great one is join us “we have the most women on our site or an even male to female ratio”. Well its a known fact that there are more men on the net than women. I’m sure there are all sorts of tricks one could potentially use, to boost female numbers. Not that I’m saying any sites use these tactics. Fake profiles is one, Joining chat rooms and profiles together with other sites to make it look like the numbers are bigger. One thing I’ve found and same again you “can’t tar all sites with the same brush” is that, just as your payed account has expired, you get an email from another member. Which of course you can’t read unless you upgrade again.

“Free sites don’t have the same amount of people because they don’t have huge amount to spend on marketing”. Well if free sites charged what the pay sites charged then obviously they would be able to market in the same way. There is however more than one way to market a site and in the end the free site if its good will prevail. Why because of critical mass and the “tipping point”. once the site has recommendations and “word of mouth” increases, the search engines ranking increases and it becomes more visible. So if you go for a free site and it has less members hang around and watch it grow and of course send anonymous mails to other potential members if they have that option!!  Also talking about the site on other forums and commenting on published articles all helps.

Also they say “free sites are scams” to try and make them look bad. I’m sure some are but I think pay sites are scams and rip offs!!

Another one they use is we only have “real men and women on our site”. Yet again all sites have real men and women on there as well as their share of bogus scammers. Any site that says they are totally scammer free or don’t have bogus profiles must have some great system of finding them out which nobody is able to come up with!!

Another great one is we have over 250,000 or 500,000 members which is probably true and makes you think wow there is alot of people on that site. In reality you’ll probably find there are that many people registered but in reality only about 300-800 are actually active. So you spend hours looking at people who are not interested any more. 

Finally offering free membership to anyone who find’s scammers,and undersirables is perhaps an admission that there possibly could be these sort of people on the site. Lets face it scammers etc are like junk mail they are there and we are always trying to get rid of them what ever site your are using.

Sometimes they may employ financial gain to try and tempt you to sign up new members. I have seen anything up ot £40 to date. Bare in mind that if they can afford to give you this then they have to recoup the cost somehow and normally its through high membership fees.

 What the other site don’t realise is some people have been beavering away to change the face of dating and are doing it for free using a more up to date business model. So my advice to you is:

 ”Not Women go free men pay” but “women go free and men go free” and the site is free unless you want to pay!!! If you do pay there is no discrimination against men both genders pay. We feel it’s more “gender equitable” to coin a phrase.

Well that’s precisely what they do on one site called loveisthebug.com.  It is becoming a bit of a phenomena in dating as it’s different and yes its free.

The Real Indecent Proposal: Would You Like To Be A Millionaires Mistress?

Are you bored of your marriage/relationship ?

Want to be spoilt and pampered for a change ?

Do you dream of a bit of excitement and adventure ?

We have been approached by a documentary producer, who is looking for married or women in relationships to take part in this documentary. We have spoken to the producer, who understands the problems of anonymity and has taken this into account. All conversations are confidential and off the record. Contact support@loveisthebug.com if you’re interested.

Tell others the “Basics Are Free” the loveisthebug way

Your obviously on the site reading this or are a regular reader.
As you’re aware or maybe not this site was set up to combat the exortionate fees charged by other sites
who say they are giving value or quality, by making you pay, or are gender inequitable by making one gender pay
and not the other to entice upgrading. See our previous postings on this.

So we have helped you by giving you the “basics for free” and you can help us in so many different ways.
Which in turn helps you by growing the site even larger.

First on loveisthebug there is the anonymous email invitation facility which can be used.
There are numerous chat sites and forums that talk about affairs,adultery which you could mention us on.
There are sites where you can add links to us like on digg,fark,furl,google,myspace,newsvine,twitter,reddit,technorati just to name a few.
You can mentions us on your own blog if you have one.
Review sites are also good

So remember the loveisthebug way and let others share the same thing you have found out.
It doesnt have to be expensive to find an illicit date!!

Shhhhhhhhh……I want a Secret Illicit Lover – Miranda’s In the Glossies

Well what can we say. It looks like Miranda and her antics are becoming very popular
Just see page page 32 of Scarlett Magazine on line.
http://www.scarletmagazine.co.uk/digitalissue/54hhwiwhewfir03/index.html

Hopefully we will be hearing more from her soon.

Please come back regularly and follow Miranda and Libertine on their regular columns.

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Miranda’s Diary Of An Illict Lover Part 10 – New Experiences

As a mother and a wife, life for me is all about routine. I run a home and work and with a family to raise as well, I have to be super ordered, disciplined and on top of who needs to be where, at all hours, to keep things ticking over. If I don’t send the right clothes with my kids for gym, or I forget to get the food ready for my husband’s dinner party, the world won’t end but it certainly becomes unpleasant for my family and I whilst I catch up. Disapproving looks from teachers contend with my husband’s irritation at his wife’s lack of foresight not creating the best impression right before promotion time. Neither of which adds to a contended and happy household. Sometimes though, this life can become more than a little restrictive.

Every now and then, even the hardiest of Alpha mummies gets sick to death of the never-ending demands created by homework and household management and longs for a little less routine. Many of us dream of a life of hedonistic freedom, punctuated only by leisurely lunches and glamorous parties. Very few of us have either the resources or the inclination to follow such an unordered existence and most of us know that even if we did, the glamour of it would eventually pale into boredom and we would again long for our mucky kids and imperfect partners to give our lives meaning beyond our own reflections.

 This doesn’t stop us dreaming though. I think it is this desire for the best of both worlds that leads many to become adulterers. Having recently stepped into this arena myself, I feel like I have some empathy for those men who claim that they love their wives, but just needed a little bit more. This month on a night out “with the girls” (read as out with A) I really started to understand. I looked at my lovely husband content on the sofa with the elder of our children, tie unbuttoned and trousers creased after a day on the go and felt a wave of love and warmth – followed rapidly by a wave of irritation, when the only comment made about my hours effort to get ready was “you off out now love? Did you feed the cat?” Wife and mother I may be but when you devote your entire life to another human beings wellbeing and comfort, the occasional “you look nice” wouldn’t go amiss.

 I am aware that it is probably shallow but women need to feel sexy to be sexy and if your partners main interest is the cat and a five-minute fumble at the end of the night is the height of your attention, eventually even the most devoted of us can feel frustrated and neglected. I think that is why it is so easy to separate myself off to my “other life”. I don’t want to live in it permanently and certainly don’t believe I love A or want to run off with him. I just see it as a form of role play. Interestingly enough, this month that has been reflected in our, ahem, activities. For the first time in years, having someone see me as a sexual, desirable woman has awakened a bit of a sexual revolution in me. What started last month with more time on myself and a renewed interest in my appearance, has progressed to fantasies that could make a working girl blush – all with me as the lead character. Nothing appears to be turning me on more than the thought of me turned on and I haven’t felt like that in years. Because A and I aren’t serious but I do feel comfortable with him, I have been allowed to start to explore that side of myself in far greater depth than previously known. This resulted in a happy afternoon at a well-known sex store, wandering and meandering through the toys and tricks, indulging every possible dirty thought as I went.

I came out with these amazing handcuffs that you strap over a door. I am not a fan of the metal “cut into your wrist” type cuffs you can normally get so these are perfect for me. Made from leather and suitably restrictive without being harsh I couldn’t wait to have a go with them. A’s eyes nearly fell out of his head when he realised what I had in mind for him that night. I see my affair as my chance to be adored and the centre of attention, so I had no qualms at all ordering him to strap me in, blindfold me and torture me, with his hands, tongue and cock until I begged to be released. He didn’t actually and we did it against the door. Not being able to see heightened every sensation and I came against him in a pool of sweating heat. Guttingly, I have had to leave A with my little toys. I did try suggesting it to hubbie in the hope I could bring them home, but his Madonna/whore complex couldn’t quite allow him to see his wife strapped to a wall while he fucked her and he suggested some nice see through undies if I fancied spicing things up a bit. Oh well, it’s a start I suppose. And when he falls asleep I have the memory of a very amusing evening in my make shift dungeon to make sure I enjoy it as much as him!!

The Libertine Spot – Men Love Being Stalked!!

So, I said last time I would, in the interests of fairness, do a piece of women who don’t leave you the hell alone, no matter how much you want them to.

 Right now, in this very column, I am going to let you in on a secret. Men actually love being stalked, they really do, even if they don’t like the girl.

They sit in the pub with their mates and say things like

“God, that bitch won’t leave me alone, she calls all the time and she emails and she’s always turning up places she knows I go to. I don’t know what to do.”

 What they are actually saying is “This woman loves me so much she can’t bear to be without me, be jealous.”

 They are only bringing it up to get one over on their mates and make them jealous, which it invariably does. Guys will almost always end up sleeping with their stalkers at least once because, well, why not? It’s always useful to have a girl to screw if you are going through a dry spell and you don’t have to spend any time seducing a stalker, they just give it away and they’re always grateful for what they get. Furthermore, guys  are not so stupid as not to know this will encourage their stalker further in their pursuit which they will continue to reject and accept ad nauseum until it ends.

 I have female friends who have used this tactic to devastating effect, literally stalking the shit out a guy until he eventually has no resistance left and commits to them, it works!

 I think this is because guys use their sex appeal as a barometer to their success in life in much the same way women do only men are more open, at least to other men, about this attempt to bolster their social status.

 That being said, there is always, in most guys lives, one woman who fell for them after one drunken nights semi conscious passion and won’t accept, despite damning evidence to the contrary that the guy in question is not interested. So here, free of charge, is my helpful guide to girls who just don’t know when to quit.

1. If we don’t call/email you, ever, we are not playing hard to get, we don’t care about you enough to bother
2. We know that you will definitely put out for us and we still don’t date you, that should say something to you, shouldn’t it?
3. If we do not remember who you are when you call us, this is not a good sign.
4. Don’t call us, we will call you. If we want you bad enough, we will call, if we don’t, there you are.
5. Do not ever, ever, ever show up at our workplace./home/gym/favourite pub without express permission. We do not find this endearing and will not react well. We will tell our friends that you did it to bolster our reputation as a stud and this will make people you don’t even know make fun of you.
6. Do not make a scene in a restaurant or club when you see us out with another girl. The reasons you should not do this are many and include:

A)    It’s really undignified

B)    We will enjoy it more than you

C)    It will definitely make our new girl put out for us

D)    Our new girl will pity you and no one wants to be pitied

That’s all for now, I’m open for ideas for new columns so if you have any subjects you would like me to hold court on, let me know through the admins at the site.

Loveisthebug Member: Libertine

Miranda’s Diary Of An Illict Lover Part 9 – Dirty Dancing

Ah, October.  Official month of autumn, nights drawing in and all things supernatural, magical and, in the case of this household anyhow, tacky ghoulish nonsense designed to frighten no one and empty even the hardiest of wallets. 

For me,   this month less about dressing up and bobbing for apples, although with two kids I have a certain amount of that on the way.  October is normally my “tucking in” time.  A month when I start to embrace warmer clothing, earlier nights and fantastic autumn scheduling on TV (thank god for Sky Plus – Strictly or X-Factor – I can never, ever decide!).

This month however, like most others that have preceded it since my “challenge” began earlier in the year, is set to be somewhat different to years of Old.   Bless him; hubby has a new hobby in the form of online gaming.  Apparently blowing up imaginary space ships has blinded him to an otherwise glaringly obvious absence in our normally routine household.  My brain.

My otherwise ordered, routine and obvious mind is missing in action entirely, taken over by the reminder of an activity I had completely consigned to the pleasant but dull follow up to our Saturday night film.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you guessed it.  I am talking SEX.  Dirty, frantic, passionate, rip your clothes off, blush when you think about it at work, lie to your friends about how amazing it is, and stomach churning, filthy fornication.  The kind that you only stop reminiscing about in order to plan the next session.  Hot Latino Guy and I have taken that “big first step”. 

I must admit – the first session wasn’t quite what I was expecting.   We were somewhat inebriated in all honesty after a dance class and he offered to clumsily walk me home.  We both knew what was coming and our slightly awkward first consummation took place in the dusty room off the back of the hall in which our dance classes are held.   Long awaited horniness meant it wasn’t awful, but behind the frantic grabbing and need some unexpected insecurities were waiting. 

My husband doesn’t mind my stretch marks and cellulite but would another man be put off or even “repulsed” by my imperfections?  I received my answer not during that first, frantic coupling but during the second one that followed half an hour later.  Once the nerves and need were spent A as he shall now be known, decided to remind me what sex could really be about. 

He kissed his way slowly down my torso, running hands up my thighs.   Ignoring my stretch marks entirely and bypassing the area where my skin dimples as it meets my buttocks, he kneaded and stroked and plied away the tension, whispering at my sexiness, my womanliness and his desire for me constantly.  I have always and continue to maintain that I love my husband but I have never felt so utterly and truly “wanted” as I did with him.  I can only liken it to how models and actresses known for great beauty must feel every day.  I came alive sexually with him in a way I haven’t done before.  It might have been the vino but long held inhibitions sank in a haze of tangled limbs and mounting warmth. 

 I went home that night feeling heavy and comforted, but woken up and alert at the same time strangely.  That feeling hasn’t left me since.  A and I have met two further occasions, so I suppose you can call it a full blown affair and both times the sex has left me weak at the knees (clichéd but true).  I do have the first stirrings of some guilt though.  I seem mentally to have separated myself from the act of what I am doing – like two different people.  That said, what I feel for A is not love.  Lust, fun, exciting yes but not love.  I reserve that person for my family and husband – who ironically enough got woken up for sex at 6 in the morning before work the other day for the first time in years.  He was stunned and delighted to say the least.  I will end it with A soon – I don’t want a second relationship to add to the complexities of the first, but I am certainly enjoying it in the meantime.

Tales Of The Illicit Kind – Right Place, Right Time Part 2

After my first encounter, I went home reeling from the feelings that it’d stirred. What would I do if she contacted me again? Was she just using me for sex on while we were away? What if anyone from work found out? When I got back into work a few days later, there was a card waiting on my desk. I recognised the handwriting on the envelope from the flipcharts on the course – it was from her! ”When can I see you again? I can’t wait to finish what we started. Get here – here’s my address…”  Oh my God, what do I do? Thankfully, my job is one that takes me all over the country, and I’m due in the area she lives in in a few days. So I thought “what the hell”, and phoned her.  ”What are you doing next Thursday afternoon?” “Working, why?” “Can you get the afternoon off?” “Yes, why?” Be bold… “Cos I can get over to you and all I can think of is coming round and ripping your clothes off…”  Silence at the other end of the phone – have I said too much? Have I overstepped the mark? Then, “Hang on a second…”  More silence. Oh shit, what have I done?  Then, “I’ll be back at mine for about 3pm, see you then.” and the line went dead.  I hardly slept for days, then when the day arrived I had to keep reminding myself that the speed limit is 70 and that if I stacked my company car on the way they’d kill me and then fire my corpse.  Before I knew it, I was at her front door. I saw her car in the drive so I knew she was in. What would happen? I knocked…  The door opened, and she smiled up at me. She was dressed normally, has she changed her mind?  ”Come in” she said.  As I entered the hall, she shut the door and smiled at me again. Then she grabbed my head, pulled it down to her height and gave me the most amazing, slow, sensual kiss I’d ever felt. We seemed to kiss forever, and when I opened my eyes we were in her bedroom.  This is it, no turning back now… I picked her up and laid her on the bed. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” I asked.  ”I’m here, I want you” she replied.  She grabbed my belt and pulled me towards the bed, I stumbled and fell on top of her. She felt that I was already getting excited and her eyes flared.  ”Is that for me?” she cooed. “Yes.” “Thank fuck for that, I thought I was never going to see you again.”  Slowly we undressed one another. She hadn’t put bedroom underwear on, and I was so glad – it felt so natural and real. When we were naked, she pulled me on top of her again and gazed into my eyes.  ”Have you come to finish what you started?” “Oh God yes.” “Good.”  I kissed her again, then moved down her front, taking in her amazing breasts as I went. They were every bit as delicious as I remembered – even better now I knew what she liked. As I kissed further down, she arched her back to me and I looked up. She nodded, and I carried on – it was as though we were linked.  I kissed, licked and nuzzled her pussy, slowly at first then harder and deeper. In no time at all, she was bucking and groaning. When she’d finished, she grabbed my hair and pulled my face level to hers. “Fuck me.” The rest is history…………………  I left a while later with a promise of more and better to come – it was now official, we needed each other. Thank God I’d gone on that course when I had. I knew the next time would be harder to arrange, but we had to find away. The way we found to meet up next was not what I’d ever have expected. Loveisthebug Member: Essexphilly

The Loves And Lies Of Lilly Smith – Great Expectations..

Lilly is feeling particularly sad today, mourning the end of her relationship with “the man with the magic fingers”, although able to use them to maximum effect on Lilly’s lower regions he appeared unable to use them sufficiently on his mobile phone and Lilly  was starting to get a bit cross … and Lilly quite simply refuses to do Bunny Boiler….

We Women are strange creatures, to many of us the thrill of receiving a text from you in the middle of the day is just as exciting as when you first kiss us…. It means that we are in your thoughts and that is sweet…. We like shoes, handbags, kittens, pink, and we like sweet…

But, I digress ….. The man with the magic fingers I hear you ask??? Hell Yeah… This guy could do the most amazing things to Lilly’s body… Lilly didn’t even know that she was capable of this kind of reaction and frantically texted her two best boy pals for more information and advice at the very first opportunity…

The female ejaculation???… Lilly can’t be arsed to go into detail.  Google it, it’s complicated.

Sufficient to say, that in the correct hands Lilly can apparently be, what is termed as “a Gusher”

Nothing to be ashamed of ladies, and as horny as hell, however unfortunately it’s not the kind of thing a girl can experience for the first time and then run back home to her loving husband and announce “Hey Honey, guess what I can do???”

Lilly was somewhat embarrassed at first and blushing texted her lover the next day “I don’t know where it all came from?”

He replied… “I don’t know where it all came from, but I certainly know where it all went, all over my sodin duvet… make sure you drink plenty today Sweetie, else you’ll get dehydrated….”

So has Lilly just lost the greatest sex of her life? Yeah probably, she adored the guy, but he quite simply didn’t have the time for her….

Lilly can’t be doing with looking for a new lover yet, she’s going to concentrate fully on her family for a while, but maybe in a few months she’ll be ready to move on…

What will she be looking for in her new lover??? 

Definitely someone who will call and text her regularly, and as for the magic fingers? Lilly has great expectations….

The Libertine Spot – The Politics Of Rejection

What is it with men, as a species, that makes us not understand the principles of rejection? Why do we simply, as one of my female friends put it, not get it?

Sometimes it is the fault of the woman in question and more specifically, her desire to not wound the fragile male ego. I can understand that and the warm place it comes from but really, for all you women out there, a straight forward brutal rejection is much better for all concerned.

 You see, men are hopeful creatures, they thrive on possibility and anything short of a brutal shut down is going to look like their might be a possibility of something happening someday and that, ladies, is what you don’t want. I am blessed with many female friends and amongst them one thing remains constant, almost all of them are plagued by men who never stop hounding them for a date no matter how politely they decline and there is the problem.

They are too damn polite about it. Men are indoctrinated at birth into the cult of anything short of an outright no is in fact a yes or at worst a maybe and no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary will always persist with the object of their affections no matter how sad, pathetic or outright insane they appear. So, in the interest of public service here are some guidelines on how to end a suitors unwanted attentions.

Where you might say ‘it just isn’t the right time for me to be dating’ What he heard is: She wants to date me, just not right now Instead say ‘ I would not date you if we were the last two people on earth and you had all the chocolate’

Where you might say ‘ I like you as a friend’ What he heard is: Yes, she likes me, I will be getting laid soon Instead say ‘ I like you as a person but the idea of getting naked with you makes me want to vomit over and over again’

 Where you might say ‘ I just have too much going on at work at the moment’ What he heard is: I want to date you and will do as soon as my work lets up Instead say ‘I would willingly emigrate to avoid ever seeing you again’ You get the point by now I’m sure.

Men are hardy creatures and essentially are used to rejection and whatever you say they have probably heard worse. So in future, do a brother a favour and tell him where to go, namely as far way from you as possible. In the interest of balance, next month we will discuss women who just won’t go away even when you ask them to with a restraining order.

Miranda’s Diary Of An Illict Lover Part 8 – I Think I Must Like Dancing

Ahhh – September. Back to school for the kids, the nip of autumn in the air and leaves turning all shades of red and gold. For me, like most busy mums, September means a little additional (and after the long weeks of summer holiday when the novelty of no school wears off rapidly) often very welcome, breathing space. The kids returning to routine provides me with a whole free day in which to do whatever I like – pure luxury! Pre “big adventure” days, this day off would be filled with those niggling little chores we all have that just don’t get done but somehow seemed so satisfying. I rarely spent a great deal of time or consideration shopping, or pampering myself, as like so many other mums I fell into the trap of putting myself somewhere below the dust balls at the bottom of the shed and slightly above clearing the spider webs out of the attic in terms of personal priorities. The height of luxury for me was the “Costa meet” with the mums I met years ago at ante-natal classes. Whole afternoons devoted to competitive comparisons over little Johnny’s language skills and little Annie’s gymnastic achievements.

Now however, it’s a different story. I seem to be spending my whole week planning two key dates in my weekly schedule. One is my Wednesday night dance class when I see hot Latino guy and the other is now my Friday off. Not since my teenager hood has a day of freedom held so much appeal. Endless hours of fantasising over what to wear, where to go. Thursday nights have become a ritual of plucking, painting and preening, in between sneaking outside to check my mobile for texts and emails for messages from “him”. My husband works late that night and I don’t think he has even noticed the dramatic change in my hair colour (blonde to dark brunette).

“He” is my dance instructor. He knows who I “am” now, the secrecy of our earlier online meetings rapidly giving way to heated looks at the dance class and double entendres at post class drinks – held with others of course in order to maintain some sense of “propriety”. Unsure of how to move things to the next step though, I asked one of my more open minded friends her opinion. “Leave it with me” she said. Cue a text next day with the answer to my problems.

“Dance Classes” it read. “Eh? I already do those – with you as it happens”, went my response “ahhhh”, she replied, “but not on your own you don’t. One on one dance classes. He offers two hour personal sessions. Perfect cover if you ask me”. Brilliant. We will call said friend Jayne – and at that moment I could just have kissed her! Dance classes – no one will suspect that – a perfectly credible excuse.

At this point I feverishly paced the house until the time came for me to “walk the dog” i.e sneak out to call O.M. (other man). He loved the idea PROVIDED I didn’t actually want a two hour lesson with him – apparently as lovely as he finds me, the idea of two hours of my stompy footed clod hopping round the studio was just a bit much (and there was me thinking I was thinking I was improving – oh well, I am far more co-ordinated lying horizontally).

So this Friday is it. Our first “session” alone. When I took my marriage vows I meant them. I thought I had done my last “first time” and those butterfly hits every time you think of the man you are seeing were a thing of the past, replaced with cosy nights in, shared ambitions and the haven of domesticity. Turns out I was wrong. I want both – I think. I guess this Friday will show whether or not I really can do this. Wish me luck!

The Libertine Spot – Donkey Punch

What the hell is going on with the world right now?

I mean, sexually, is it me or has the world gone absolutely mental?
I am referring in this instance to the phenomenon of the ‘Donkey Punch’ recently popularised in the film of the same name.

For the uninitiated this particular act consists of , whilst engaged in anal sex, punching a person in the back of neck at the point of orgasm so as to create an involuntary tightening of the muscles thereby increasing the experience of the orgasm significantly.
Now, firstly, this makes no medical sense but leaving that point alone for a while lets look at the brass tacks of the situation.

If you are lucky enough to be able convince your partner to engage in a bit of anal sex then I would consider showing my gratitude for this selfless act by buying her some flowers or taking her to dinner or any one of a hundred other simple romantic gestures that would convey my happiness for her having allowed me this pleasure. I would not class punching her in the back of the neck as a suitable way of expressing my affection at the best of times let alone when she is in the all fours position.

Who thought this one up?
Who suggested it as a possible way to make anal sex better?
Who convinced themselves and their partner that this was medically sound advice?
I need answers people!!

That isn’t all that’s going on out there though. May I ask who in the hell thinks vomiting on your partner is arousing?

Now, I consider myself a pretty liberated guy but if the girl I’m with suggests upchucking on my chest in the middle of some deeply satisfying cowgirl action then I think my response would probably be for her to seek some help at the earliest opportunity.

The same goes for the scatophiles out there. What on earth possesses these people to take a dump on each other for sexual gratification? At what point during a relationship do you bring this up?

At what point do you say
‘You know what darling, this sex stuff is great and all but what would really float my boat right about now is if you took a great steaming dump on my chest’

Is there ever a good time? And I thought I was pushing the boat out asking for some anal now and again.

The worlds a confusing place for sure so until next time give the donkey punch a miss and try ordering flowers instead

The Loves And Lies Of Lilly Smith – When Lilly Met Libertine

Upon joining Loveisthebug Lilly received numerous replies to her profile, some lovely and funny emails were exchanged but usually over time contact tended to for one reason or another, fizzle out. Lilly truly never expected to meet someone that she really connected with….but then she met Libertine.
Now as you are reading this, you are also probably familiar with Libertines own blog?, if not… well read them, you may learn a thing or two. Following his own advise, Libertine asked questions of Lilly, silly, probing, unusual questions which made her think and she still remembers that very first phone call, thinking that his voice sounded much younger than she expected for someone so obviously wise to the wicked ways of the world…. And then all she remembers is laughing, and laughing and laughing. Feeling so immediately at ease with this guy that the conversation about truly stupid things but also the more serious side of their lives just flowed……..
Lilly and Libertine planned a day trip to London. It turned out to be the best and hottest first date ever…. A perfect day. The weather was gorgeous as they wandered aimlessly hand in hand around the city, they gossiped, kissed, laughed and behaved atrociously for 3 hours in a conveniently placed Travel lodge, (well it would have been rude not to….. having travelled all that way…)

But this is only the beginning of the story…..
Over the past few months Lilly has grown to consider Libertine, one of her closest friends and believes that in him she has found a true soul mate. Lilly loves Libertine as he does her, Yes, you did read that correctly… she “Loves” him, but it’s not a needy “Oh my God, I can’t live without you or bear to know you are with someone else” type of love, it’s more complicated but yet contradictorily more simple than that…… Lilly can’t imagine her life now without Libertine in it… they both have other lovers, they have only met once and; they are hundreds of miles apart, they both have partners and children that they love yet……..

Tales Of The Illicit Kind – Right Place, Right Time

I’ve been lucky enough in my life to have had an amazing fling. A life-changing fling. A fling that set my world alight and made me feel on top of the world.
And the best thing was that it hit me when I was least expecting it. I hope to share my experiences with you over the coming few posts.

The first time we met was when I was away on a course at work. She was a married older girl from the other side of the country. We were paired up in a few exercises and on a couple of occasions, when we touched or I held the door open for her, something sparked between us.

At the end of the day, a few of us went to the pool for a lark about but all I could do was stare at her in her swimsuit. I know I was being rude, but I couldn’t help myself and I caught her looking me up and down too.

The two of us talked in the jacuzzi, and before long we were playing footsie in the bubbles. It was all I could do to stop myself from grabbing her then and there, and I started to believe she felt the same way too.

We sat together at dinner and the conversation moved on to ‘polite’ things – family, work, hobbies. Oh, why can’t these others piss off and leave us alone?

Later in the bar, we carried on flirting but we both knew we were past flirting. What room number are you in? How can we sneak away? What are we doing? Can we get away with it? Do we care?

Eventually we got away. I followed her to her room a couple of minutes after her. She invited me in with a smile. We sat nervously on her bed for a couple of minutes, neither knowing quite how to begin.

We started to kiss, gently at first then more passionately as we both realised that although it was wrong, it was also so right at the time.

She held my hand and moved it to her breast. As I stroked her, she moved her hand lower and caressed my inner thigh. By this time, I couldn’t help myself down below.
As she moved her hand to my crotch, her eyes flared and at that second, we knew we couldn’t help ourselves any more.

We didn’t have any protection, but it didn’t matter, we knew we just wanted to be with each other as much as we could. Within a minute or two, we were naked and next to each other. I kissed her up and down her whole body, and she started to shudder. I touched her down below and her back arched in invitation, and soon she was there.

In a couple of minutes I joined her, she pulled me on top of her and took me in hand. That had never happened to me before, and I couldn’t believe that this amazing girl, whom I’d only met 15 hours earlier, knew EXACTLY what to do to me.

Afterwards, we laid together and talked about what had happened, what could happen next and how we could manage to meet again despite the geography and the marriages.

We DID manage it a few times – but those stories are for later…

loveisthebug Member: Essexphilly