Reawaking my Sexuality
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I have been, laying her in bed trying to sleep, my hands wander gently tentatively over my naked body, I have always loved the feeling of my skin, it is so smooth and silky.
Then I think about the possible option of being touched and aroused by some one else. And I realise how much I do want that and how very, very scared I am.
And that makes me cry because I have not even allowed myself to think about the fact that I need to feel sure masculine hands on my body, a man not afraid to touch, explore enjoy me.
I have for too long duped myself into believing that at my age I just no longer have ‘those’ kinds of needs, desires, drives. At my age a woman pursues much more worldly interests, explores society and family and no longer worries or cares about her fading sexuality and her inadequate sex drive. Old age humiliates our bodies and dupes us into substituting tea and biscuits for real life and passion.
I feel so very sad at the idea that I have lost such a vital part of myself.
But recently I have been talking with a man who seems to be reawakening things in me that I thought I’d lost somewhere back in time. A glimmer of hope is rising in me, like a phoenix from the ashes I don’t know if I’ll sleep with him next time or the time after that, I am for now, satisfied with the fact that my sense of my own sexuality is awakening and my belief that I am a desirable woman is returning.
Loveisthebug Member: Ginee
