Miranda's Illicit Affairs And Encounters

One thing a lot of people have become used to with the event of social networking sites like Facebook is that the Internet is predominately free. So what justifications do dating sites have to charge for their services? In theory this article can be applied not only to illicit relationship type dating sites but to any dating site that charges.

Think about this you don’t have to pay to speak to someone on MSN messenger/yahoo chat or any other IM so why pay on these sites. ?

Well they say that they are vetting profiles and also by charging it is an exclusive club.!  To quote a site

“.. is the only site that that polices female  members to ensure there are no undesirables etc. We know they join other sites where they’re not  checked.” or “we have a department dedicated to vetting the site for scammers” or “Our site is policed and monitored” .

Basically it’s what you say in the trade “a load of balls”

 I wonder how many men are posing as women are on these sites just to get free access ? 

So much for the vetting process. All sites even free ones vet there members and monitor and police their sites. Why ?

becuase :-

a) They want to keep other members happy and keep them on the site.

b) They want to ensure there’s nothing dodgy going on

c) They want prospective members who browse the site to know they are serious about it.

The other favourite one they tend to use is:-

“By making our members pay we are getting a higher quality of member”  and another “The best quality men are on our site becuase they do pay a premium”.

Yet again most people who join these sites are  on other sites. Its the old case of  “the more you spread you wings the better chance you have of succeeding”. In reality, the quality across all sites is the same in  that there are high medium and low quality members. I suppose it depends on how you measure quality but basically all site follow what is called in mathematics the binomial distribution or bell shape curved when it comes to their members.

To quote a female member on one of the paying sites (where men pay)  who has moved over to a free site.

“I got hastled by men continually who sent me emails again and again and tried instant messaging with me mainly because they payed lots and felt they had to get there money’s worth………….. It really pissed me off”

“Since I moved over to a free site, I find the men are so much more relaxed and not as stressed out as they are on other pay sites, and they are in less of a hurry…”

On alot of these sites generally women go free and also they say their site is free but really it is not. A good way of finding out is to check out the sites Frequently asked questions (i.e FAQ) its normally hidden in there, or in their help. Be astounded by their fees and it’s the men who pay.

Another great one is join us “we have the most women on our site or an even male to female ratio”. Well its a known fact that there are more men on the net than women. I’m sure there are all sorts of tricks one could potentially use, to boost female numbers. Not that I’m saying any sites use these tactics. Fake profiles is one, Joining chat rooms and profiles together with other sites to make it look like the numbers are bigger. One thing I’ve found and same again you “can’t tar all sites with the same brush” is that, just as your payed account has expired, you get an email from another member. Which of course you can’t read unless you upgrade again.

“Free sites don’t have the same amount of people because they don’t have huge amount to spend on marketing”. Well if free sites charged what the pay sites charged then obviously they would be able to market in the same way. There is however more than one way to market a site and in the end the free site if its good will prevail. Why because of critical mass and the “tipping point”. once the site has recommendations and “word of mouth” increases, the search engines ranking increases and it becomes more visible. So if you go for a free site and it has less members hang around and watch it grow and of course send anonymous mails to other potential members if they have that option!!  Also talking about the site on other forums and commenting on published articles all helps.

Also they say “free sites are scams” to try and make them look bad. I’m sure some are but I think pay sites are scams and rip offs!!

Another one they use is we only have “real men and women on our site”. Yet again all sites have real men and women on there as well as their share of bogus scammers. Any site that says they are totally scammer free or don’t have bogus profiles must have some great system of finding them out which nobody is able to come up with!!

Another great one is we have over 250,000 or 500,000 members which is probably true and makes you think wow there is alot of people on that site. In reality you’ll probably find there are that many people registered but in reality only about 300-800 are actually active. So you spend hours looking at people who are not interested any more. 

Finally offering free membership to anyone who find’s scammers,and undersirables is perhaps an admission that there possibly could be these sort of people on the site. Lets face it scammers etc are like junk mail they are there and we are always trying to get rid of them what ever site your are using.

Sometimes they may employ financial gain to try and tempt you to sign up new members. I have seen anything up ot £40 to date. Bare in mind that if they can afford to give you this then they have to recoup the cost somehow and normally its through high membership fees.

 What the other site don’t realise is some people have been beavering away to change the face of dating and are doing it for free using a more up to date business model. So my advice to you is:

 ”Not Women go free men pay” but “women go free and men go free” and the site is free unless you want to pay!!! If you do pay there is no discrimination against men both genders pay. We feel it’s more “gender equitable” to coin a phrase.

Well that’s precisely what they do on one site called loveisthebug.com.  It is becoming a bit of a phenomena in dating as it’s different and yes its free.

When embarking on an affair especially for the first time your emotions may be all over the place and it becomes very easy to lose rationality.
This may cause you to start acting differently at home, be aware of this and be mindful of your own normal actions and moods thus avoiding a sure fire means to discovery.

 Here are a few common sense precautions you may like to consider.

 At the very first opportunity agree some basic ground rules. Agree when it is safe to contact each other, how often and where you would like to meet.  
Be honest, make it clear what you both want from the relationship, If one wants a short term relationship and the other wants long term or marriage,
this could be a short road to disaster with the conflicting negative emotions rising to the surface. So sort it out on day one.

 Having your phone ring or your text alert going off at an inconvenient time can leave you with a lot of explaining to do, even worse someone could
pick up your mobile and read your texts.

 Arrange with your lover when it is best for you both to communicate.

When using a mobile, use a dedicated sim card and remove it immediately after each communication, delete all the texts from your inbox, drafts sent
and photo’s folders. The same goes for emails. Encode anything you feel you want to keep.

The reason for these seemingly over the top precautions is that they can save you a lot of problems and keep your stress levels down.  
For instance, you could lose your mobile, someone elses could find it and hand it in to a family member; I don’t have to explain about human nature.
Imagine being involved in an accident and being hospitalised.  If your mobile was among you personal effects and handed to a family member, and your lover
was trying to contact you at the same time, you may not want to wake up from the anaesthetic.

 If you don’t receive a communication from your lover for a long period of time, don’t’ jump to conclusions, you don’t know the circumstances, be patient.
If you must contact them take care not to text anything that may raise someone else’s suspicions.

 When going out with you’re lover try to stay out of your own and each other’s home territory. You really don’t want to bump into friends and neighbours.

Keep your story of where you are going as close to the truth as possible, just in case you have to explain a parking or speeding ticket.

 Finally, when the relationship comes to an end, be nice about it, be clear about it, there is nothing worse than suddenly being ignored or not knowing where you stand, try to part as friends.
If you are on the receiving end, accept it, be adult about it, you are not a soppy teenager no matter how you feel. Try to part as friends and leave the door open to staying in touch if you both want to.

Loveisthebug Member: dragon

Well we launched our first news item in Metro on line and the link is :

http://www.metro.co.uk/home/article.html?E-dating:__Illicit_Dating,_Who_Really_Cheats?&in_article_id=517655&in_page_id=1

We will be doing more of this stuff in the future as it’s our aim to spread the word and let everyone know you don’t have to pay large amounts
to find a lover,illict affair etc. Also see our other article on our blog “Illicit Extra-Marital Dating Sites, Why Charge ?” and lets try and quash a few industry myths and claptrap!!

 I have to say this is the typical standard you would expect from this sort of newspaper and I had to laugh.

The fact is it’s chevaunist and suggest it’s men that just cheat on their wives. what about all the married women who are having affairs whilst there husbands are out at work ? Maybe they should do an article about all the females having affairs ?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/article1726101.ece

Well loveisthebug will be publishing poll results very soon which they have carried out over the last six months. So we will hear from the horses mouth so to speak rather than indirectly!!

Hi,

I came across this article Id’ like to share with you. Finally someone understanding rather than the usual clap trap you get from most people.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/2095967/Why-having-an-affair-could-save-your-marriage.html

one thing I find fascinating is the amount of people who pass judgement on others relationship behaviour. I had one this evening who said you xxxker,STD carrier etc

How does this person know the reason for anyone having an affair ?

Who are they to pass Judgement on the behaviour of others ?

Most self righteous people tend to like to quote the bible. Well there is a good phrase in the  bible that says:

What I say to them is rather than spouting  the crxxp they come out with, they should try and understand the reasons why people want to have an illicit relationship. Each person is different and it’s not always about sex like they think it is!! There are lots of reasons. Some people I have come across have told me that its actually made them think about their current relationship and has only improved things. Others have said it was good to be able to talk about it to like minded people in similar situations, and made them think they weren’t the only ones going through the same things.

Maybe if they opened their minds rather being wrapped up in themselves their lives would be better to.

Guide to having a more successful affair.

Like anything in life if we manage the risk then generally we are more successful with things. The same applies to having an illicit marital relationship. If you manage the relationship and not get to carried away then you can be successful without upsetting your current relationship.

We all too often hear “variety is the spice of life” and “what you don’t know can’t harm you” which are true, but all too often, we lose control of ourselves due to excitement or the regained feeling of lost emotions and expose ourselves to the slippery slope to relationship aggravation and possibly divorce.

In order to keep everyone happy including ourselves there are a few simple rules we can follow to minimise the risk.

Not too close to home

All too easy when the excitement of a lover is on the horizon. All logical thought goes out the window. On the male side the lower brain kicks in and the concept of rational thought is lost. For a woman the tummy butterflies occur but basically the same effect! The last thing you need is going out in your local vicinity and bumping into your brother/sister in law or close friend of the family and embarrassingly have to come up with some lame excuse. The rule here is obvious to quote an adage “don’t dirty on your own doorstep”.

Out of character

As part of the excitement and the irrational thought processes. Suddenly you start doing things you don’t normally do. Remember your partner knows you and your movements really well as they have been living with you a long time. Changing your schedule suddenly sends out the suspicion alerts. If you suddenly do have to take up snowboarding etc ensure it’s done as a slow process. The rule here is “Sudden changes alerts suspicions”.

Know the boundaries

Just as with any personal contact, know the relationship boundaries. Discuss with your lover how often you’ll meet and how you will contact each other etc. Over step the boundaries and not only your lover will get aggravated but you could possibly be out of character at home. Your partner may detect emotional changes i.e. you being snappy or angrier with them. Remember boundaries are set to protect all sides.

Stick to the boundaries

You know the boundaries you have set up with your lover, but due to the excitement or the renewed feeling of lost emotions you, or your lover wants more. Over stepping the boundary if it’s one sided could aggravate your lover and then you possibly will have to go through the whole process of having to find another one. Treat your lover as you like yourself to be treated. Don’t over step the boundaries you both have set if you want to keep your partner at home.

The communications trail

The advent of modern communications equipment like mobile phones and the Internet has meant it’s easier for people to have extra-marital relationships, but if you’re not careful it can be your biggest down fall. If you use shared equipment like computers, ensure you don’t use auto-logins and browser histories. It’s amazing how easy it is to arouse your partner’s curiosity and get them suspicious. Even on a dedicated machine the same applies. All too often your partner may ask can I borrow your computer I need to do Internet shopping and suddenly she auto-logs in to MSN with five other women! Bank statements and hotel bookings in the post are another give away. Some people even go as far as setting up independent bank accounts and having a different mobile phone to be extra safe.  There are now plenty of on line cards and site which don’t send bills or confirmation through the post. The golden rule here is “clean your trail” .

Like with like

This is worth mentioning.However some people will probably not agree with it. Both of you being married means you are in a similar predicament. You may both have children and have a long term relationship with partners. Having a relationship with a non-married lover increases the risk. Generally non-married lovers want to get married and have children. One thought is when they say “I’m looking for a no strings relationship” it really means up to a point.

Be yourself

All too often when people are having extra-marital relationships they start to think there’s “two of me”; the relationship and your character with your partner, and the relationship and your character with your lover. Don’t fall into this psychological trap and start going overboard thinking you’re a different person, it’s the same you. Human nature and relationships are complex and you’re only seeing yourself from another aspect. Just be yourself at home and with your lover.

I think there comes a time in a relationship when you decide you love your wife but there something missing. This revelation came to me about 2 years ago and I decided that although I didn’t want to upset the boat so to speak, I wanted to do something about it. After all you only live once and as long as no one gets hurts or finds out then why not. Also men are different to women you just can’t say to your mates oh by the way I’m having an affair where the best place to look ? We tend to be more secretive then women and keep it bottled up. So Where do you start looking ? Obvious the Internet.!!

I went to the most popular illicit affair site without mentioning any names and after having spent a while looking and joining lots of sites.

One thing I’ve found is the majority of them say there free then have the gaul to charge you anything from £30-40 per month.

 One thing I couldn’t understand is the Internet is free and now with the rise of free social networking why they can charge so much ?

 Well this was my view until recently until I came across the first free illicit encounters type site called www.loveisthebug.com. I have to say I was impressed. I noticed they have a couple of articles on how to have a successful affair which was very informative. Hopefully sites like that will revolutionise dating!!