Miranda's Illicit Affairs And Encounters

Lilly is feeling particularly sad today, mourning the end of her relationship with “the man with the magic fingers”, although able to use them to maximum effect on Lilly’s lower regions he appeared unable to use them sufficiently on his mobile phone and Lilly  was starting to get a bit cross … and Lilly quite simply refuses to do Bunny Boiler….

We Women are strange creatures, to many of us the thrill of receiving a text from you in the middle of the day is just as exciting as when you first kiss us…. It means that we are in your thoughts and that is sweet…. We like shoes, handbags, kittens, pink, and we like sweet…

But, I digress ….. The man with the magic fingers I hear you ask??? Hell Yeah… This guy could do the most amazing things to Lilly’s body… Lilly didn’t even know that she was capable of this kind of reaction and frantically texted her two best boy pals for more information and advice at the very first opportunity…

The female ejaculation???… Lilly can’t be arsed to go into detail.  Google it, it’s complicated.

Sufficient to say, that in the correct hands Lilly can apparently be, what is termed as “a Gusher”

Nothing to be ashamed of ladies, and as horny as hell, however unfortunately it’s not the kind of thing a girl can experience for the first time and then run back home to her loving husband and announce “Hey Honey, guess what I can do???”

Lilly was somewhat embarrassed at first and blushing texted her lover the next day “I don’t know where it all came from?”

He replied… “I don’t know where it all came from, but I certainly know where it all went, all over my sodin duvet… make sure you drink plenty today Sweetie, else you’ll get dehydrated….”

So has Lilly just lost the greatest sex of her life? Yeah probably, she adored the guy, but he quite simply didn’t have the time for her….

Lilly can’t be doing with looking for a new lover yet, she’s going to concentrate fully on her family for a while, but maybe in a few months she’ll be ready to move on…

What will she be looking for in her new lover??? 

Definitely someone who will call and text her regularly, and as for the magic fingers? Lilly has great expectations….

Upon joining Loveisthebug Lilly received numerous replies to her profile, some lovely and funny emails were exchanged but usually over time contact tended to for one reason or another, fizzle out. Lilly truly never expected to meet someone that she really connected with….but then she met Libertine.
Now as you are reading this, you are also probably familiar with Libertines own blog?, if not… well read them, you may learn a thing or two. Following his own advise, Libertine asked questions of Lilly, silly, probing, unusual questions which made her think and she still remembers that very first phone call, thinking that his voice sounded much younger than she expected for someone so obviously wise to the wicked ways of the world…. And then all she remembers is laughing, and laughing and laughing. Feeling so immediately at ease with this guy that the conversation about truly stupid things but also the more serious side of their lives just flowed……..
Lilly and Libertine planned a day trip to London. It turned out to be the best and hottest first date ever…. A perfect day. The weather was gorgeous as they wandered aimlessly hand in hand around the city, they gossiped, kissed, laughed and behaved atrociously for 3 hours in a conveniently placed Travel lodge, (well it would have been rude not to….. having travelled all that way…)

But this is only the beginning of the story…..
Over the past few months Lilly has grown to consider Libertine, one of her closest friends and believes that in him she has found a true soul mate. Lilly loves Libertine as he does her, Yes, you did read that correctly… she “Loves” him, but it’s not a needy “Oh my God, I can’t live without you or bear to know you are with someone else” type of love, it’s more complicated but yet contradictorily more simple than that…… Lilly can’t imagine her life now without Libertine in it… they both have other lovers, they have only met once and; they are hundreds of miles apart, they both have partners and children that they love yet……..

You have to take the rough with the smooth; Lilly knew that but so far her search for the perfect F**k Buddy hadn’t gone too well.
Lilly didn’t meet Hannibal through loveisthebug, he was in fact a work colleague of her best friend.

He had always made it perfectly obvious to Lilly that her fancied her whenever she visited the office, something that she had previously just ignored as she
had been far too busy playing at being the perfect wife and mother.However in her new role as Wanton Slut, she thought she might as well see how it would pan out.

Hannibal was thrilled that Lilly was finally responding to his advances and sent numerous silly little gifts home with said best friend and a frantic exchange of text messages
resulted in Lilly abandoning her family one evening and going late night shopping, just happening to call into an empty office. Empty of course except for Hannibal.

As this was a first date so to speak, Hannibal insisting that he was a true gentleman said that actual sex would have to wait. Lilly who still wasn’t entirely
convinced that Hannibal was the man for her was initially relieved but then was pleasantly surprised that when he kissed her, the earth moved somewhat. Mmmm could havebeen the uniform….

Lilly nad Hannibal spent a very pleasant half an hour desecrating the boss’s desk. Best friend reported back the next day that Boss had noticed that his things had been jostled around somewhat and was blaming the “Bloody cleaners”….

Half hour up, Hannibal virtually threw a swooning Lilly out of the back door, insisting that he had to get home to his family. Now Lilly who is a bit of a stroppy bitch
at the best of times – (to put it mildly) ,didn’t take too kindly to being thrown out on her ear and stormed off into town….. Ignoring the increasing frantic phone calls
and text messages from the very rude man who had just used and abused her.

She stomped around the city centre for a further half an hour and then stopping to pick up a KFC for the family’s tea, she made her way home.

Now this next fact may seem initially irrelevant but Lilly happens to be one of the messiest eaters you will ever encounter.

Not intentionally may I add, but usually, not one meal passes without poor unfortunate Lilly managing to miss her mouth and spilling some sort of food
or drink down her clothes and this habit shall we say was probably the cause of her near downfall in the first place but subsequently her saviour in the long run.

KFC consumed, Lilly sat snuggled up to Hub on the sofa watching TV.

Hub glancing down at Lilly torso, laughingly quips
“Ha Ha, look at you, it looks as though someone had cum all over your neck”

Lilly’s world seems to come to a grinding halt as she realises that in the sudden rush to leave the office earlier and being in full strop she hadn’t given much
thought to her appearance and yes, there was a distinct possibility that her neck was covered in Cum.

Lilly not usually the quickest witted of creatures you will ever meet decided that the only thing to do was to brazen it out and blame it on the KFC coleslaw.
She licked her finger dabbed ineffectually at the dried white stain on her neck and chest and offered her finger to her poor sod of a husband to taste.

He laughingly declined, believing the KFC theory.

Lilly checked her mobile messages the next morning.

Hannibals ignored text messages repeatedly warned “Clean yourself up woman, you’ve got jizz on your neck”

Married Dating can be a steep learning curve. Be ruthless in your communications with other members, swap photos sooner rather than later, because quite simply
if you don’t like the look of each other, there is no point in continuing with more detailed exchanges….

Being rather new to it all and not following her own advise is how Lilly acquired The Sugar Daddy, one of the first Loveisthebug members to reply to her profile.

He didn’t exactly meet her criteria, being somewhat older, and he apologised for this, but as he was reasonably local and didn’t come across as a complete psycho (Always a bonus).
Email addresses were exchanged.

However, when photos were eventually swapped it was quite obvious that even though he was a really nice bloke, he just didn’t do it for her…… But how do you let someone know,
without hurting their feelings that there is no way in hell that you are ever going to sleep with them….??

Lilly pondered on this problem and eventually told the Sugar Daddy that in the sweetest way possible… he reminded her of her Dad, and obviously for this reason, there was just no way
that she could go there.

This is where things should have ended…. And for a short while they did.

But six months later The Sugar Daddy is still very much a part of Lilly’s life. Texts are exchanged almost daily whereas meetings are infrequent but fun, and limited to lunches in local pubs

A casual kiss on the cheek marks their greetings & partings. Conversation flows easily and discussions tend to revolve around their respective partners & families.

Lilly has no intention of ever taking things any further, but worries that ‘her friend’ The Sugar Daddy lives in hope.

I should probably begin by explaining how Lilly came into existence and ended up on a married dating site .

Before the invention of Lilly, there was only Mrs Average Housewife, a reasonably content married mother of two young children. Hub worked peculiar shifts, supporting the family and Mrs Average took care of everything else, the Hub, the house, the pets and the children.

Mrs Average or Mrs A as we will call her, during the particularly bad period of weather towards the end of January earlier this year discovered the joys of “Facebook”.

“The Boy”, through Facebook, discovered Mrs A.

A local chap, only slightly younger, tall, good looking & single, pursued her relentlessly. Mrs A. obviously flattered by all of the attention, somewhat naively agreed to a meeting in the local pub. The start of her first affair.

Lilly (a much wiser soul) would have advised Mrs A. to steer well clear – but she couldn’t warn her, as she didn’t even exist yet!

Mrs A in totally unchartered waters suddenly rediscovering how exciting it was to kiss someone new, the butterflies in her stomach, the constant wetness between her legs, probably wouldn’t have listened to Lilly’s advice that on average married people screwing around with single people was just a disaster waiting to happen……

Numerous flirtatious text messages, phone calls and 3 fantastic Shags in, “The Boy” declared his love for Mrs A. She after carefully considering her options immediately dumped him.
But…. she had rediscovered her appetite for dirty, horny, exciting sex & she wanted more.

The modern wonders of Facebook, shortly after provided Mrs A. with her next lover.

“The Mad Marine” – another single man, but this time, she made sure, not the “lovey-dovey” sort.

Fantastic in the sack, however a man of few words, Mrs A began to find his distinct lack of regular communication and inability to stimulate her mind as efficiently as he did her body, somewhat frustrating.

Days would pass without any reply to her texts, then out of the blue an eloquent “Fxxx me?” would appear on her mobile screen……. Mrs A., stroppy at the best of times and by now a bit pissed off, replied with an equally eloquent “Fxxx Off!”

She concluded that if she was prepared to put at risk her family & marriage, then she wasn’t going to settle for second best, she didn’t want to just screw around, if sex was all she required then surely she could just pick up someone vaguely attractive in a pub/club? Definitely not her style. What she did want was her existing marriage plus the excitement of a new relationship combined with lots of just for fun sex…..Basically she wanted her cake & to eat it….

A good friend suggested that what Mrs A needed was in-fact a married lover, someone who like herself was content in their existing relationship but who was also looking for that little bit of on the side excitement…

So Mrs A. surfing the net, came across a suitable site and Lilly Smith was conceived………….